"HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK"

The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One-to Four-Year-Old

By Dr. Harvey Karp

America’s top doctors are lining up to praise a new book and video that are destined to become classics in the field of parenting!

“You want help? This is r-e-a-l help!
The Happiest Toddler is one of the smartest parenting books of the past decade!”
--Kyle Pruett, MD, Professor of Child Psychiatry, Yale University School of Medicine,
Past President Zero-to-Three

“Dr. Karp's excellent approach makes raising toddlers a whole lot easier.”
--Steven Shelov, MD, Editor-in-chief, American Academy of Pediatrics’ Caring for Your Baby and Young Child

Anyone living with toddlers knows how quickly they can change. One minute all is bliss -then BAM! – they erupt into a mega-tantrum on aisle 6 at K-mart! No wonder exhausted and time-crunched parents feel trapped in a revolving door of “No!” and “Don’t!”

But all that is about to change. But never again will you be helpless while your toddler screams and screams. Help has arrived!

"The Happiest Toddler is terrific...and fun! It will help parents, grandparents and everyone who cares for toddlers be more effective."
--Martin Stein, MD, Professor of Pediatrics, University of California San Diego

In a breakthrough new book and video, THE HAPPIEST TODDLER ON THE BLOCK (Bantam Books 2004), celebrated pediatrician and child development expert, Dr. Harvey Karp reveals a treasure sought by parents for centuries – the secret to calming tantrums in minutes…or less!

Two years ago, Dr. Karp stunned the medical world (and made parents cheer!) by solving the 3000-year-old mystery of colic with his discovery of the calming reflex – the “off-switch” for crying that can soothe almost any fussy baby in seconds. His extraordinary book and video, The Happiest Baby on the Block, have literally redefined our culture’s understanding of newborns.

And now Dr. Karp is amazing the medical world once more with an innovative view of toddlers that will transform our understanding of this challenging age, forever.

“Dr. Karp has done it again!
The Happiest Toddler is a joyous adventure…with pearls of wisdom on every page.”
--Morris Green, MD, Director, Behavioral Pediatrics, Indiana University, Riley Hospital for Children

"Dr. Karp helps parents turn the "terrible" twos into "terrific" twos. His work will revolutionize the way our culture understands toddlers!"
--Roni Cohen Leiderman, PhD, Associate Dean of Childhood Studies, Nova Southeastern University

Dr. Karp explains that watching toddlers is like traveling back in time. “Toddlers are not so much little children as little…cavemen!” Cavemen were stubborn, opinionated, and not too verbal. They bit and spat when angry, were sloppy eaters, hated to wait in line, and were negative, tenacious, distractible, and impatient…sound familiar? (No wonder, the first chapter of THE HAPPIEST TODDLER is named “Help! There’s a Neanderthal in My Kitchen!”)

It’s a comical image, but comparing little kids to primitives is no joke. Dr. Karp argues that toddlers can only be understood by taking one giant step…backward! During three short years, toddlers zoom through the major achievements of almost 5 million years of human evolution: walking, talking, tool making, and problem solving.

"Parents will be delighted by this clever approach to communicating with toddlers. It allows us to see the world from our children's unique point of view."
--Janet Serwint, MD, Professor of Pediatrics, Director of the Harriet Lane Children’s Clinic, Johns Hopkins School of Medicine

Dr. Karp says, “We all get more rigid when we’re upset, but frustrated toddlers become absolutely prehistoric!” He tells parents to think of themselves as ambassadors from the 21st Century to the Neanderthal people. “Once we see kids in this revolutionary ‘evolutionary’ light, tantrums, power struggles and even peeing on the carpet all start to make sense…and parents learn to soothe even agitated toddlers quickly.”
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In THE HAPPIEST TODDLER, parents learn:

* The #1 rule of good communication – the “Fast Food Rule.”
* Four easy steps for translating anything into a child’s primitive language - Toddler-ese.
* Foolproof ways to encourage good behavior (time-in, praise, rewards, “gossiping”, etc.).
* How to quickly halt misbehavior (using good communication, ignoring and time outs).
* Smart solutions to the prickliest problems of the toddler years (including sleep issues, toilet training, separation anxiety, biting, picky eating, sibling rivalry, fears, etc).

You can defuse most meltdowns in minutes if you know. In his new book and video, The Happiest Toddler on the Block, child-development expert and pediatrician Harvey Karp, M.D. reveals some revolutionary new solutions for problems from tantrums to picky eating. Here he tells how to soothe your tot's tears and help her feel loved and understood by learning to…speak her language.
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Q. You've gone from teaching about crying babies in your first book and video, The Happiest Baby on the Block, to toddlers having tantrums. What will parents
learn from this second book that they don't already know?

A. In my new book I present a fun and easy approach to raising great toddlers based on a fascinating new concept. As silly as it sounds, the best way to think of children between the ages of 1 and 4 is as little…Neanderthals! Don't get me wrong, I love toddlers. They are sweet and fun, but they can also be wild and impulsive, especially when they’re upset. They grunt, grab, scratch and shriek like uncivilized little cavemen. Yet, when you learn to speak your toddler's primitive language – Toddler-ese - you'll often be able to soothe his outbursts in minutes.

Q. So what's the secret for talking Toddler-ese?

A. When little kids are happy, we speak to them with our normal words, tone of voice, and gestures. After all, that's ultimately how toddlers learn language. But the more angry, frustrated, scared, or sad your child gets, the more fuzzy your words will sound to her. At that point, it helps to translate what you say into Toddler-ese. It’s as easy as 1…2…3!

Here’s how:
First, use very short phrases. Long sentences are tough for stressed out toddlers to comprehend. Stick with one- to three-word phrases (three to five words for verbal toddlers). Second, repeat those phrases over and over. Young children often need five to ten repetitions to get their attention and focus on what you are saying.
Finally, be an actor. How you say your words is even more important than what you say. Match your tone of voice, facial expressions, and body gestures to her level of emotion. Pout, wave your arms, furrow your brow and dramatically echo her complaints to show you understand exactly how your toddler feels.
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Q. Why do toddlers have such a hard time listening?

A. Our little cave-kids have trouble listening because they’re very distractible, especially when they’re upset. That’s why you’ll be much more successful getting your child to focus if you first calm him down by paying attention to him with a minute of your best Toddler-ese. That lets him know you understand and care about his feelings. Once he begins to settle you can offer a distraction ("Hey, look at this book."), logic (“It’s too hot to drink.”) or reassurance ("It’s OK, it’s OK…you’re alright”). Calm kids are better listeners (none of us tune in well when we’re in the middle of a meltdown).

Imagine your 18-month-old is standing at the door, screaming to go outside. Don’t just squash his hopes by telling him why he can't go ("It's raining”). First, acknowledge his feelings …in his own energetic language. Say in Toddler-ese, “You say, ‘Go, Mommy. Go! Go!' You want out, now! Out! Out! Out! You're bored, bored, bored!" With gestures and a dramatic tone repeatedly echo his feelings. Once your irate little caveman realizes that you truly understand his whining and wailing will noticeably diminish. That’s the signal that it’s your turn. That he’s ready to hear your reasons, reassurance, options, etc.

Q. But what if your child is doing something that's clearly wrong? Might echoing her feelings accidentally make her think that you’re agreeing with her?

A. Every day, your prehistoric little toddler experiences a roller coaster of powerful emotions. One of your prime goals during his toddler years will be to encourage him to confidently express his feelings yet teach him to restrain his unacceptable actions.

Of course you should skip echoing and immediately express your message if your child is in danger (she runs into the street), being aggressive, or breaking an important household rule. However, in less urgent situations, take a minute to lovingly show your tot that you sincerely care about his feelings, but that doesn’t mean that you will tolerate misbehavior.

When he yanks a truck out of his friend’s hands, for instance, take a few seconds to repeatedly (and dramatically) describe what he’s doing and how you think he feels- even if you disagree with him. Before teaching him a lesson about sharing, say something like, “You want! You want! You want it now! You say, 'Give me the truck. I want it now!'" Then, after he starts to settle down, add your mini-message, "But, no grab…no grab. It’s Jake’s turn." Learning and emotion are like oil and water…they just don’t mix. Calm children learn much faster and acknowledging their feelings in Toddler-ese is the key to quick calming.
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Q. What are the main secrets to raising "the happiest toddler on the block"?

A. There are three:
1. Play and talk together a lot. Just as feeding dimes into a parking meter all day long protects you from dreaded tickets, many five and ten minute helpings of playtime throughout each day ward off temper outbursts and create a growing relationship of cooperation and caring with your toddler.
2. Establish clear and consistent limits. Toddlers like uncivilized little
cavemen, will push you around if you're wimpy about the rules. But, pick your
battles. Only set limits you know you can enforce and then be prepared to
take a stand.
3. Above all, treat your child with respect. Even when he’s doing something you hate, always show respect with your words and actions. One of the best ways to you’re your respect is to try to speak to him in his own primitive language. Energetically echoing your toddler’s feelings will help you quiet the yelling, lessen the frustration and create a more loving, happy time for both of you.

Experts predict worldwide flu outbreak

Global pandemic likely, health authorities say


updated 1:30 p.m. PT, Sun., Dec. 14, 2003
NEW YORK - As bad as this year’s flu season is, it hasn’t brought the worldwide outbreak known as a pandemic. But experts warn that a pandemic is coming, it’s just a question of when.

“It’s going to happen,” said Dr. Greg Poland of the Mayo Clinic. “For the American public in particular, I think it will be horrific.”



Many Americans haven’t experienced the overwhelming crush of patients at hospitals and doctors’ offices and the widespread fear a flu pandemic could bring. And by historical pattern, Poland said it’s about time for the next one.

There have been three in the past 100 years, igniting in 1918, 1957 and 1968. There’s no way to predict when the next one will appear, but the pattern does give experts pause.

It’s all up to a virus that is variable and fickle, constantly changing its genetic makeup, and the time when it hits upon a combination that lets it take off worldwide is a “roll of the genetic dice,” said Dr. William Schaffner of Vanderbilt University.

'It makes us nervous'
So the lack of a pandemic in the past 35 years basically means “the genetic dice haven’t been rolled that way,” Schaffner said. “While we’re grateful for that, it makes us nervous.”

There’s plenty to be nervous about. It’s estimated that in the industrialized nations alone, the next pandemic is likely to send 1 million to 2.3 million people to the hospital and kill 280,000 to 650,000, according to the World Health Organization. Its impact will probably be greatest in developing countries.

As a practical matter, flu shots probably could not be counted on to prevent a pandemic. For one thing, pandemic virus strains emerge unexpectedly, and there would probably not be enough time to recognize the threat and then provide vaccines that target them, Schaffner said. What’s more, many countries outside the United States wouldn’t have the means to give enough flu shots to stop the spread, Poland said.

Dr. Robert Couch of the Baylor College of Medicine noted that health authorities are making major efforts to prepare for controlling a pandemic, including putting an emphasis on developing and manufacturing vaccines faster and in greater quantities.

The pandemic of 1918-19, known as the Spanish flu, sickened an estimated 20 percent to 40 percent of the worldwide population, with a death toll believed to exceed 20 million. In the United States alone, some 500,000 people died. An ordinary flu epidemic kills an average of 36,000 Americans.

The next pandemic, the Asian flu of 1957-58, killed about 70,000 in the United States, while the 1968-69 Hong Kong flu led to about 34,000 deaths in the United States. Scientists suggest several reasons why this rate was lower than in previous pandemics, including that the illness did not gain momentum until near the school holidays in December, when children were home rather than infecting each other at school.

Flu viruses start in rural Asia
New strains of the flu virus, and so potential pandemics, get their start in rural Asia, where the various strains that infect chickens and other birds, pigs and humans can mingle. That gives them a chance to swap genetic information as well as mutate on their own.

The potential spark for a pandemic occurs when that environment produces a new virus that infects people and bears surface proteins that people’s bodies have never seen before. That means people have no natural defense against it.

In contrast, ordinary outbreaks like this year’s come from a virus that has changed only slightly from previous ones, so that the population it enters still has some natural immunity from encounters with the previous germs.

But the genetic shift alone is not enough to launch a pandemic. In addition, the new virus must acquire the ability to pass easily from person to person, either by random genetic change or by picking up genetic material from a previous human flu virus.

The world has had some close calls in the past few years, says Richard Webby of St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis. In 1997, a bird flu in Hong Kong jumped to people, killing six. But the virus never developed the ability to pass easily from person to person, Webby said. Hong Kong authorities slaughtered 1.4 million chickens to end the threat.

Just this year, authorities became alarmed when a father and son in Hong Kong were hospitalized because of a bird flu virus, and when flu virus infected some workers in the Netherlands who had slaughtered infected chickens. The Netherlands outbreak was contained by anti-flu drugs and fast vaccination, and slaughter of the poultry, Webby said.

Scientists have been noticing a lot of flu virus in chickens and pigs globally, and a lot of variety in the strains, which is worrisome, Webby said. It’s impractical to develop vaccines against all the animal strains in case they jump to humans, and there’s no reliable way to identify the most hazardous ones, he said.

When the next pandemic shows up, experts say, it will find a population with many more vulnerable people like the elderly, infirm and those with weakened natural defenses than were living 35 years ago. It will also find a trimmed-down hospital system with fewer beds to handle a surge of patients. And while today’s anti-flu drugs will probably attack the new strain, that’s not yet clear. Supplies of the drugs and vaccines would be strained.

But still, with the improvements in health care since the last pandemic, might the next one be less serious?

“I want to believe that,” Poland said, “but we won’t know until it happens.”



A history of worldwide Influenza

The origins of influenza are unknown, but the malady is never absent for more than a few decades. The worst pandemic occurred in the early 20th century, when more than 20 million people were killed.

400 B.C.:
Hippocrates records an outbreak of a cough, followed by pneumonia and other symptoms, at Perinthus in northern Greece (now part of Turkey). Several possible identifications have been suggested, including influenza, whooping cough and diphtheria.
212 B.C.:
The historian Livy describes an infectious disease, perhaps influenza, which strikes the Roman army.
1781-'82:
Considered among the greatest manifestations of disease in history, this pandemic afflicts two-thirds of the people of Rome and three-quarters of the population of Britain. Influenza also spreads widely in North America, the West Indies and Spanish America.
1789:
A widespread epidemic hits New England, New York and Nova Scotia in the fall. Most deaths appear to come from secondary pneumonia.
1829-'32, 1836-'37:
An epidemic begins in Asia late in 1829. From there it spreads to Indonesia by January 1831. The disease also breaks out in Russia in the winter of 1830-'31 and spreads westward. By November it reaches the United States.
1889-'90:
1889-'90:
Named the Russian flu, this worldwide influenza epidemic, the most devastating to that time, begins in Central Asia in the summer of 1889, spreads north into Russia, east to China and west to Europe. It eventually strikes North America, parts of Africa and major Pacific Rim countries. By conservative estimates, 250,000 die in Europe, and the world death total is two to three times that.
1917-'19:
The Spanish flu, the most lethal influenza pandemic ever, kills more than 20 million people. More people die as a result of this flu than die during World War I. Its spread is facilitated by troop movements in the closing months of the war. Mortality rates are unusually high for flu, especially among young, otherwise healthy adults.
1957-'58:
The Asian flu starts in southwest China in February 1957, possibly having originated in 1956 in Vladivostok, Russia, then spreads throughout the Pacific. Globally it affects 10 percent to 35 percent of the population, but overall mortality is much lower than in the 1918 epidemic, about 0.25 percent.
1968-'69:
Hong Kong flu claims 700,000 lives worldwide, 34,000 in the United States.
1976:
The Swine flu, isolated in New Jersey in a young army recruit, instills fear of a new pandemic and leads to a massive influenza-immunization program. The vaccinations lead to Guillain-Barre syndrome, an ascending paralysis, in 100,000 people and kills 5 percent of those afflicted.
1986:
Avian variation of the swine flue in the Netherlands results in one severe case of pneumonia.
1988:
The Swine flu kills a pregnant woman exposed to a sick pig in Wisconsin.
1993:
Strain of the swine flu in the Netherlands sickens two children. The fathers are believed to have come in contact with infected pigs.
1995:
One adult contracts conjunctivitis in the United Kingdom after infection with the duck virus.
1997:
The Hong Kong Poultry virus infects at least 18 people, killing 6 of them.